All the News That’s Fit to Rank: November 21, 2015

These are the top movie news stories that got the Flickchart staff talking this week. We rank ’em, you read ’em.

1. John Malkovich and Robert Rodriguez made a movie that won’t release for 100 years

We’ve gotten used to Marvel, Disney, Warner, and other major studios planning movies out for the next 5 years – you may not know where you’ll be in 2020, but Disney certainly does! Anyway, those guys have nothing on John Malkovich and Robert Rodriguez, who have made a movie that no one will be able to see for 100 years. It’s an ad campaign for Louis XIII Cognac, which ages 100 years before it’s decanted. So in 2115, your descendants will be able to watch 100 Years while drinking 2015 Louis XIII. It’s gimmicky, but it’s also kind of cool (and the teaser trailers which ARE out now do the job of promoting the Cognac, so they’ve already got their ads now). Of course, who knows if the people of 2115 will even be able to play movies in today’s formats? It’d be like giving someone a phonograph cylinder now. (via Variety)

2. The Force Awakens has already made over $50 million in advance ticket sales

A lot of movies hope to see $50 million in their whole run (though not big ones, I grant you), and a $50 million opening weekend is nothing to sneeze at for most films. Well, move over box office, because The Force Awakens has already made that much in advance ticket purchases. Yep, no one will see the movie for a month yet, and it’s halfway to being a blockbuster. Some predictions suggest it may make $300 million in the first weekend; if so, it’ll handily beat The Avengers record. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. (via The AV Club)

“Come to the dark side! Buy tickets early! You will unlock great power!”

3. Edgar Wright is making an animated film about shadows

As far as I’m concerned Edgar Wright can do no wrong, and his next move is into the world of animation with a film for DreamWorks about “the concept of shadows.” No more detail than that, but I don’t need any more. With how gleefully over the top and cartoony Wright’s films often already are, I can’t wait to see what he and his creative team come up with for an animated film. The only questionable element is DreamWorks, but hopefully they just stay out of his way. (via The AV Club)

Going animated worked out pretty well for Wes Anderson; why not for Wright?

4. Paul Rudd and Alexander Skarsgård to star in Duncan Jones upcoming sci-fi thriller

Duncan Jones‘ next film is Warcraft, based on the massively popular MMORPG, but he’s looking to follow it with a near-future sci-fi thriller called Mute, which sounds like a smaller film more along the lines of Moon or Source Code, with mute bartenders seeking disappeared women. I always enjoy Rudd and Skarsgård, and Jones is usually an interesting filmmaker, so I’m definitely on board to see where this goes. (via The AV Club)

Mute: 100% less Jake Gyllenhaal being run over by trains. Presumably.

5. Lost Disney Short was just discovered in BFI

Before Disney made Mickey Mouse, he made Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, who…looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, but with longer ears. He left Oswald at Universal after he had a spat with Universal exec Charles Mintz, and went on to create Mickey Mouse, and the rest was history. Many of Oswald’s shorts were collected a few years back in one of the Walt Disney Treasures DVD releases, but there was at least one missing – “Sleigh Bells” was just discovered in the British Film Institute Vault. It’s always a glad day when long-lost films are rediscovered, even if this one is likely to just be filed away in Disney’s vault now that BFI has returned it. (via The AV Club)

I swear, early cartoons are like the comedy version of body horror – nothing should twist like that.

6. Christopher Nolan’s Memento getting remade

Do you have anterograde memory loss and are unable to retain the memory of having seen Christopher Nolan‘s Memento? Well, you are in luck, my friend. AMBI Pictures, which acquired the rights to the film in a merger/buyout whatever earlier this year, is planning to remake the film, saying “People who’ve seen ‘Memento’ 10 times still feel they need to see it one more time […] This is a quality that we feel really supports and justifies a remake.” This is logic I do not understand, because like, if it’s that high-quality, wouldn’t you just watch the existing film again? But I am not here to judge AMBI’s decisions, I’m just here to point and laugh when I think they’re stupid. Note: I am not inherently against remakes. I do often think they’re pointless. (via Variety)

RECURSION.

7. Brett Ratner producing movie about the creation of Tetris

Brett Ratner‘s not a name that necessarily inspires confidence, but the story behind the creation of Tetris could actually be an interesting one to see onscreen – from its development by Soviet computer scientists, through its phenomenal success on the Nintendo GameBoy and ubiquity on home computers everyone, though its original creator didn’t see a dime of profit until ten years after he created it. There could be some good drama in here. And it sounds like Ratner isn’t actually directing it – /Film points out his company is behind some pretty big-name films, including the highly anticipated upcoming The Revenant. (via /Film)

Tetris is really a Soviet brainwashing tool, you know that right? I saw it on YouTube, it must be true.

8. Brad Pitt, Warner Bros. developing sci-fi movie Illuminae

Brad Pitt‘s production company Plan B has backed some great projects (12 Years a Slave), some iffy ones (World War Z), and some I haven’t heard of, and there’s no talk of casting or directors yet, so this is probably too early to really get excited about, but I’m pretty much always excited about potential sci-fi movies. This one’s based on a book by an Australian pair, the first in a planned trilogy. The title conjures up thought of The Illuminati, but it doesn’t SOUND like that’s what it is? It “centers on a hacker and her boyfriend in the year 2575” and something about warring megacorporations. (via Variety)

The Illuminati automatically make everything approximately 87% cooler, so I hope they ARE involved.

9. Alex Ross Perry’s Live Action Winnie the Pooh is inspired by A.I.: Artificial Intelligence

Disney’s live-action remake train continues, but at least they’re getting some interesting people involved. Alex Ross Perry is known for dark indie dramas like The Color Wheel and Listen Up Philip, so he may sound like a strange choice for Winnie the Pooh, but he’s got some ideas inspired by A.I.: Artificial Intelligence that may bring more of an edge to the loveable old bear than we’ve seen before. I…honestly don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not the biggest fan of A.I., nor of darkening up kids properties that are originally simple and sweet. Still, I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt and see what happens. (via /Film)

The deep dark secrets of Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. Let’s…do this?

10. Casey Affleck to direct Western Far Bright Star, Joaquin Phoenix to Star

The last time Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix worked together, the product was the little piece of performance art called I’m Still Here, which had everybody convinced that Phoenix was a) retiring and b) crazy. Neither was true (for which we’re all grateful), but I’m definitely curious to see this pair doing a more traditional film, in this case a western set in 1916 focusing on the hunt for Pancho Villa. Affleck did great work in front of the camera in moody western The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; we’ll see if he does just as well behind it. (via Variety)

Remember this? Here’s hoping for a bit more actual movie this time around.

Top Trailers of the Week

Weapon, savior, superhero, whatever the kid in Midnight Special is, I want to find out – not necessarily because this trailer looks that good, but because I trust director Jeff Nichols pretty implicitly at this point.

The first Zoolander is surprisingly fun, and the sequel, I gotta admit, looks pretty entertaining as well.

The Little Prince is one of France’s most enduring children’s stories, but the most famous film version is American. Here’s an upcoming French animated one that adds what seems to be a rather large frame story, so we’ll see how that works out. This is also the American dubbing cast, which is pretty good if you HAVE to watch a dubbed version.

Anton Corbijn‘s films are all beautiful to look at, and his new film Life, which takes on the relationship between photographer Dennis Stock (Robert Pattinson) and James Dean (Dane DeHaan), promises nothing different. I’m not totally convinced by DeHaan as Dean, but it’s hard to say from a trailer.

Extraction looks like a pretty generic hostage espionage thriller, but I’m been dying to see Gina Carano in something else since Haywire, plus Bruce Willis is a’ight.